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Bad News

“Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules”

- Douglas Adams

It feels like as good a way as any to start off the New Year. I know it's about a month late, but considering what this month has entailed for me, I believe I am within my right to be somewhat late. The New Year started very good for me, I think it's one of the best New Year's eve's I have had in many years. I had my boyfriend over to visit, so even though I wasnt well or up to much I had a wonderful time nonetheless. No matter how you start a year it'll be a good way if you're together and laughing with people you care about.

Unfortunately for me I was admitted to hospital only a few days after this because of sudden paralysis in my left leg as well as an unbelievable bout of being without strength to do anything that for one felt horribly unfair and for another seemed completely without cause considering the fact that I was eating and sleeping and living healthy and well. I was given a sound workup at the hospital with an MR and a spinal tap (which by the way is hugely overrated in terms of scary and painful, it was barely uncomfortable). The conclusion after a couple of days was that I had MS. I don't remember much from what was going on in my head when I was told; mostly because my head was completely blank. I'd never in a million years even considered it (and I didn't know very much about it either). Now it has been a few weeks, and I've had time to come to terms with it and accept it somewhat on my own. I'm lucky enough to have a good family and a couple of great friends to vent to without whom I would probably be in a slightly worse state right now. It is an odd thing to be told at age 24 that you'll be sick to a greater and lesser extent for the rest of your life, but not as scary as I would have thought. It's not the worst thing I could have got; I can have MS but it doesen't need to me that MS has me. But it's still very odd to read through all the information I have been given and know that this now applies to me as well. I keep waiting for some torrent of emotion to hit me, but it doesen't, so I end up trying to figure out what that means instead.

My life has been put slightly on hold for now. I need to find out what my new limits are, what I can do and what I can't do as much of as I used to. I need to plan things a bit more because I don't have energy for it all anymore. And in a few months I'll be going back to the hospital for another MR to see how things are going and to find out what will happen when it comes to treatment. It's odd, that in the midst of all this the most prevailing emotion I have is the wish to go down to my doctor and say "In your face!" because he had the gall to say that maybe I was just feeling ill because of a little heartbreak when he sent me on to hospital.

The Frost

The frost has started to show itself around here. The water puddles have a thin layer of ice in the mornings, and everything is white when I wake up. Until two days ago when the silly weather got milder and everything just turned dull and wet and grey which in turn transformed me into a grumpy gremlin. I don't mind the cold at all - it makes everything really pretty! Besides, people are supposed to deal fine with -2 to -25 degrees when they choose to live in Norway. Wimps.

I've been struggling with illness for a couple of months now that keeps getting gradually worse. It makes me miss the blasted coughing. Sure, it didn't let go for weeks on end, but at least it didn't get worse! Bah. Humbug! I did however, sneak out to take pictures a few das ago since the mean weather forcast threatened with warm weather over the weekend. I did get some pretty things out of it - and a good thing that is, for now the weather is so dull that only a serious amount of tea and non-healthy food can make it better/easier to ignore.

Aside from being sick things are going well enough. University is busy as an ant-hill now that Christmas is closing in and students need to sit either midterms, exams, or deliver massive assignments before they're allowed to breathe a brief sigh of relief. It's the same thing at school with a huge focus on midterms and getting paperwork done in time so one can spend the holidays pretending like your work is done. I'm pretty much getting the runup to the holiday season from both the perspective of the student and the teacher this year and it's a seriously odd experience. I'm both reading for exams and preparing to correct exams. I'm grumbling over having so do massive assignments and defending having to do them to other students. Any superhero can just go to bed, for they have nothing against the double life I am leading at the moment...

Endingwise: Sam, I really, really miss you and I wish you were still around. Your friendship was one of the best I've ever known and you're the werdest thing that ever rolled on wheels.

Autumn, work and studies

Autumn has started showing itself around and about, and I am as pleased as punch. It is my favourite time of year and usually cheers me up rather than bring me down as it does a lot of people I know. It's particularly the photographer in me that gets thrilled when all the colours start to brighten up everywhere - and the autumn storms makes me about just as giddy.

A lot has happened since summer 'ended' for me. I've started work part time as a school assistant while I study special psychology on the side. It is a one year study where I'll at the end of it will be able to work with children who need special care in the school, whether because of a diagnosis or a disability. I have not been to more than one lecture, and have only read one of my text books; but it all sounds interesting and challenging so far and I do look forward to learning more.

What'll happen once I have finished this study I have absolutely no idea - and that is both a relief and a cause for occasional insanity.



Every year since 1988 there has been a blues festival going on in the city where I live. It has grown quite a lot since the modest beginning and is now quite huge. It is run in huge part on volunteer work from the people who live here who do all sorts of things from rigging, transport, information, administration, sales and serving, not to mention security and tidying up again. Basically it wouldn't be a festival without all the volunteer work.

I've wanted to do my part to help out for a few years already, but the past four years I've had other jobs that has made it too difficult to do both without somehow extending the 24 hour day to a 35-hour one. But this year I have no work in august and thus I have already put myself down for volunteer work and have gotten two solid shifts of work serving beer to increasingly drunk people! My first shift goes from 7:30 PM to 3AM and after that I have to get straight home to sleep, because the next morning I am working again from 11AM to 7:30 PM. Busy!! But I think it'll be great fun and a good opportunity to see lots of (amusing) people and hear a lot of good music since a lot of the work is during concerts. Another perk is the fact that working two full shifts gets me a festival pass so I can enjoy everything else going on when I'm off work (and I get to ride the night bus for free) as well as getting my own shirt. Obviously I'll also get breaks and food between the efforts since it wouldn't be much of a festival if the workers kept fainting from lack of food and/or rest all over the place.

I'm looking very much forward to it. No doubt I'll be running my head off - but I really do love the festival and it feels good to help it keep going.

The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy

Don't panic!

I have recently sat myself down to reread the Guide (again). It just so happens that it is one of the books I can read over and over again and still constantly find phrases or turns I can't recall from the last time I read the book. It is one of my absolute favoruite vacation reads and I have the book in a very handy paperback edition to slip into a bag (or even a pocket!) when I am off out. Actually I have a box set and I still haven't gotten over the fact that Sleaw/ Eddie (yes, I shall use Eddie because it's funny to say and it is also the name of Iron Maiden's mascot. You should feel proud) read through almost all of those books during his one week stay here a few years ago.

I found a site with Douglas Adams quotes today, and got inspired enough to do this:

“Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules”

Den Ene

I have been taking loads of pictures so far this year, working with them in the evening is kind of a good way to put my mind to something other than work and other things I need a break from. Obviously just taking the pictures isn't always good enough assurance that it'll be any good. Actually I've discovered (long ago) that which all photographers know painfully well; out of 100 pictures you're lucky if between five and ten turned out good.

It is fun though, and I'm feeling I can say that I have at least improved a bit in the year that has passed even if there is a lot still to learn. I'm basically learning at my own pace and that is good in some ways and bad in others. But right now I think that the important thing is that it gives me the respite I need from everything else.

I also just realised that today it is five years since I started this LJ! Imagine that! Five years of rantings and ramblings and general nonsense. I should probably take a minute to think about all the stuff that these last five years have held for me... but my pizza won't get warmer that way!


It has been a challenging couple of years - and the past few months have been even more so. I'm having things coming up that I'm dreading, things that I'm always worried I won't have the strength to pull through. But at the same time I know I'm not running away from it - and that is something at least. Also, and this is something I know I should make a much bigger deal out of than I have: I finished my education. I got my teacher qualifications and I got them with almost flying colours. I have studied for five years, sat around 40 exams, read countless pages and taken even more notes and a couple of days ago I got my diploma in the mail stating that I am a teacher.

It's completely weird to think about still. I don't feel like a teacher at all - but I suppose that's more like something that will sneak up on you when you start working. That's still over a year away since I already have my plate full of things for after summer, and what will happen when that is over I don't know.

Point still stands though, when people ask me what I do nowadays I can actually answer that I am a teacher.

With a view!

I am rather envious of the kid(s) in this family. If it wasn't for the fact that it was standing in someone else's garden I would have stormed off and played on the swings until my face was blue. At least.

I started my second practical period at school this week. I'm going to do six weeks of teaching 16-18 year olds history and English. I am slightly nervous, but that's pretty much the way it has to be. For starters, I know I shouldn't be too afraid of making mistakes considering I'm there to learn, and sometimes (alright, more often than anyone would like probably) you learn the most from making mistakes. But that's kinda daunting nonetheless.

But hey, who said life was anything but daunting at times, eh?!

Winter and stuff

I have pretty much proved forever that I am absolutely untrustworthy when it comes to keeping any kinds of updates going on any sort of blog, which is a bit ridiculous. I remember that when I started this thing I was very keen on updating often and a lot - and back then I had less things to show for than I do now. This is probably typical.

Since I last wrote anything here I have come a long way in my TQC (teacher qualification course) - I have already been placed for six weeks at a secondary school in a practical period as part of it all. It was six very busy weeks, but I learned a lot and thankfully I came out on the other side still pretty sure that this is what I want to do for a living. In other words I walked out reassured that some screws in my head probably never got tightened properly. I am having a second practical period in a few weeks' time; this time I'll be at an upper secondary (high) school. I'll be interested in finding out how different the pupils of 16 are to the ones of 13 for better and for worse.

I have also devoted a lot of time to photography at not too random intervals. I enjoy it immensely and am lucky enough to live somewhere that presents me with a few good opportunities for taking pictures. It is a lot to learn, many things to consider - but I'm enjoying myself and taking it all at a slow pace so I won't loose the enthusiasm.


September marks the start of my favourite time of year when the colours start appearing and the weather is lovely no matter what kind of weather it is (fact). Ever since I was a kid autumn and winter has been my favourite seasons. I've always considered it fascinating to see the seasons change and watch how everything adjusts to it. Autumn is just special because of all the magnificent colours, the fresh breeze and the rustling sound of fallen leaves on the ground. I'm looking very forward to trying and capture some of it with a camera this year - I'm hoping it can become a nice hobby to tend to and cherish in the middle of everything else that's going on.